Be Prayerful, Flexible, and Picky

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I am currently searching for a teaching job for the fall.

I also went out on my first date in a VERY long time on Memorial Day. (Side note: it was not bad, but I doubt there will be a second).

Recently I’ve recognized how similar the two are – dating and interviews. I do not consider myself very good at either. They both make me nervous. They both have great promise… with the possibility of rejection. They both are worth it in the long haul because you find out more about who you are and what you are capable of as a person.

I was talking to a friend about this discovery this afternoon, and he said be prayerful, flexible, and picky (he was talking about interviewing, but I definitely see the correlation to dating).

New life motto: Be prayerful, flexible, and picky.

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Introverts in Relationships

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Ask and you shall receive.

I was browsing Facebook this morning and came across two interesting reads about relationships.

The first was on a site I found on Twitter: @IntrovertDear

It was the type of person each personality type should seek out when looking for relationships.

I’ll share mine. I’m an INFJ.

INFJ

Who you usually go for: No one, because everyone is going to hurt you. Even the ones you’re only mildly attached to, especially the ones you really really like. Once in a blue moon, you’ll meet someone who seems to have the potential to never screw you over. And you’ll put them on a pedestal until, eventually, they’ll let you down too.

Who you should go for: The best friend. The one who has proven their trustworthiness by being there for you through everything. The one who will let you down unintentionally, every now and again, but stays by your side to stitch up the wounds. Someone who will finally make you believe in the whole “everyone is going to hurt you, you just have to find the ones worth suffering for” bullshit that you were struggling to accept before.

Dang. Yep. Pretty spot on.

The second article I came across was from the Quiet Revolution. It talked about the difference between extroverts and introverts in dating. It’s ok we are different. Stop apologizing for being an introvert (I’m talking to myself here).

It’ll be so interesting to read this years from now.

Relationships

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It’s fitting that I finished Donald Miller’s Scary Close book today.

Eleven years ago today I experienced my first heartbreak. I thank God I am not with my ex-boyfriend, but I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever get married.

I appreciated Miller’s openness about his relationship with Betsy, his struggles with past relationships and intimacy as an introvert, and his successes in communication. I highly recommend this book!

“Am I willing to be hurt occasionally and turn the other cheek in order to have a long-term, healthy relationship” (48)?

I am still trying to figure out how to do relationships well. I am trying to become more aware of the walls I have to keep people from hurting me.

I know the struggle is intimacy vs. isolation. I don’t want to end up alone. I’m in the fight for a long-term, healthy relationship. That starts with looking at my own life to help myself become a healthier person (in all aspects of the word).

Anyone know of any Dating 101? Guess I’ll cue up He’s Just Not That Into You.

How to Be Pursued By a Guy

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How to Be Pursued By a Guy

Wow. If I could send this to every single female I would. Click the link above to check out a great post by Perry Noble.

It’s like the Christian version of He’s Just Not That Into You, a movie I often think of when friends obsess over whether a guy likes them or not.

I cannot say I am a pro at this.
Like so many women, I over-analyze.
I don’t date often… Hello introvert that needs to interact with people more. ha.

If I could respond, I would suggest to single men:

  1. Be honest! 
    If you expect it from women, we should expect it from you. I once told a family friend that I liked him and asked if anything could happen between us. He was really nice in letting me know that he did not view me that way. My respect for him only grew, but at least I knew and did not have to spend anymore time wondering.
  2. Know that not all girls are like your ex. 
    This really makes me mad that good guys are messed up by women who manipulate them. My best advice is to get counseling or at least talk things through with a good friend who can help you recognize how she has effected you.
  3. Ask her out (in person!)
    Yes, it would be easier to text, email, DM, or any other way of communicating to her your intent. But you’re going to have to hang out in person time anyway if you want to get to know her. Be a man; ask her in person.

Any dating advice you’d recommend?