Tension

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Anyone else constantly feel the tension that the last few days of the year epitomize? Reminiscing the past while hopeful and ready for the future – whatever it may bring. Looking back on lessons learned, while hoping with all your might that the year ahead will be just a little kinder than the year that somehow happened so quickly?

I often feel like this – finding it hard to be in the present moment. I remember great times when I had plenty of friends to choose from within five minutes of me at college instead of binge-watching FRIENDS. Or anticipating the time I can get my own place again.

But here. Now. In 2018. I am healthier than last year.

The first six months of 2017 were NOT pretty. I woke up already behind on my to-do list, dreading my commute, and crying almost every day en route. This time last year, I spent FOUR DAYS driving back to DC after Christmas break – crying A LOT – going back to a place that was just breaking my heart. But, God is faithful and helped me be faithful to finish out responsibilities in DC.

I am truly blessed – in this exact moment – to finish out 2017 with six months of living with family. I am not back in my hometown anticipating my next move out of this small town life. I am not back here dealing with a family crisis. I am here because I finally WANT to be here. I am soaking up all the snuggles with my niece and nephews, I am grieving over DC and the loss of the life there, and I am truly embracing family in all of its ups and downs (and believe me, there have been some rocky roads with family in 2017, too – we’re messy imperfect human beings!).

My hope is that I will be better at living in the tension, living my best story and inspiring other to live theirs.

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