Introverts in Relationships


Ask and you shall receive.

I was browsing Facebook this morning and came across two interesting reads about relationships.

The first was on a site I found on Twitter: @IntrovertDear

It was the type of person each personality type should seek out when looking for relationships.

I’ll share mine. I’m an INFJ.


Who you usually go for: No one, because everyone is going to hurt you. Even the ones you’re only mildly attached to, especially the ones you really really like. Once in a blue moon, you’ll meet someone who seems to have the potential to never screw you over. And you’ll put them on a pedestal until, eventually, they’ll let you down too.

Who you should go for: The best friend. The one who has proven their trustworthiness by being there for you through everything. The one who will let you down unintentionally, every now and again, but stays by your side to stitch up the wounds. Someone who will finally make you believe in the whole “everyone is going to hurt you, you just have to find the ones worth suffering for” bullshit that you were struggling to accept before.

Dang. Yep. Pretty spot on.

The second article I came across was from the Quiet Revolution. It talked about the difference between extroverts and introverts in dating. It’s ok we are different. Stop apologizing for being an introvert (I’m talking to myself here).

It’ll be so interesting to read this years from now.



It’s fitting that I finished Donald Miller’s Scary Close book today.

Eleven years ago today I experienced my first heartbreak. I thank God I am not with my ex-boyfriend, but I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever get married.

I appreciated Miller’s openness about his relationship with Betsy, his struggles with past relationships and intimacy as an introvert, and his successes in communication. I highly recommend this book!

“Am I willing to be hurt occasionally and turn the other cheek in order to have a long-term, healthy relationship” (48)?

I am still trying to figure out how to do relationships well. I am trying to become more aware of the walls I have to keep people from hurting me.

I know the struggle is intimacy vs. isolation. I don’t want to end up alone. I’m in the fight for a long-term, healthy relationship. That starts with looking at my own life to help myself become a healthier person (in all aspects of the word).

Anyone know of any Dating 101? Guess I’ll cue up He’s Just Not That Into You.